I know what you are thinking, “Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?” No, silly it’s my tribute to one of my favorite movies ever. Clueless was released in 1995 and it was a movie that defined a generation. One that was filled with knee-high socks, baby backpacks, grungy flannels, the internet was just booming and cell phones were those things for rich kids. This movie encapsulated all that and much more and every time I watch it I get nostalgic for my teenage years.
Directed by Amy Heckerling, she did it once with Fast Times in the 80’s and struck gold with this little gem. Looking back at this movie, it really taught us so much about how to deal with and look at life. It’s like way existential! Here is my top 10 list of what Clueless taught us.
1. If a guy doesn’t like you, he is most likely gay… Like DUH!
Cher invites Tristan over to watch movies and he doesn’t even make a move on her. When a guy just ignores you like that and won’t even kiss you, yeah he is totes gay.
2. Follow your heart, not what other people want you to do.
For the majority of the movie Tai thinks she likes Elton, but really the whole time she loved Travis, the stoner who sat on the grassy knoll with all the other burn outs. Despite that fact, he was a really sweet guy and her ultimate match.
3. Sometimes your perfect match is the person right under your nose.
Cher’s ex-stepbrother (Yes this is so freakin weird!) Josh is annoying because as an older guy, he is super prolific and smart, the total opposite of her and she couldn’t ever even imagine herself with him. In the end, they turn out to be the love of their lives and the whole time she never realized it.
4. When in doubt always rock fur.
Sometimes when you wake up in the morning you have no idea what to wear, but you know what always looks good? Fur. Whether on a cardigan or a hat, it is always appropriate. Second choice is boa feathers of course.
5. If you are feeling stressed out just go to the mall.
When life is getting you down and you feel like crap, just go to the mall, remember in the movie Cher always went to Contempo Casuals when she felt sad. The mall can regenerate you and make you feel better and look hotter, who doesn’t want to feel like that?
6. Be picky when it comes to choosing your sexual partners.
Cher was so picky about losing her virginity, hello she was picky about shoes and they only went on her feet, so you have to be extra choosy when it comes to hooking up with people. Don’t just do it with someone because they like your Marvin the Martian drawings either.
7. When a person doesn’t like you, always remember it is not because of you, it is them.
Lots of times guys will act like they are into you, but sometimes this is because they have ulterior motives like they want to date your best friend. Elton only helped Tai when she banged her head and sang “Rollin’ with the homies,” to her because he was really into Cher, so in the end don’t be sad when you find out he doesn’t like you. It’s definitely them, not you!
8. Always make time for exercise.
Cher and Tai did Buns of Steel at least once a week and sort of hit tennis balls at school. Remember exercise is important in maintaining your physique and staying healthy.
9. Pick friends who are nice and just as hot as you.
Cher was friends with Dionne because she was just as hot and this really does raise your stock when you hang out with other pretty people. She also gave Tai one of the best makeovers in movie history, so if you have a friend that is kinda fugly just give them a makeover.
10. Don’t let jealousy and stupid fights get in the way of friendship.
When Cher didn’t pass her driving test, Tai was like way harsh and told her “you’re a virgin who can’t drive,” but eventually she apologized and they hugged it out. They didn’t let that petty fight get in the way of their relationship. Remember it’s always good to pick friends who are nice and can own up to their mistakes.
Ok kids I forgot my Cranberries CD in the quad gotta go! With that I leave you with Iggy Azalea’s Fancy video, check it out.