Movie Review: Beautiful Creatures (2013)

Beautiful Creatures (2013)
Directed by Richard LaGravenese

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On Christmas Day, I was feeling quite under the weather and all I wanted to do was stay in and watch movies. I had recorded Beautiful Creatures a while ago and finally decided to put it on.

I really just regretted that decision and should have just taken a nap.

Beautiful Creatures is a flick about a group of witches that live in a little town in the South. A town filled with a rich history from the Civil War, as there had been many battles that had taken place there and which still in a sense haunted the community. The story is about a girl named Lena Duchannes (Alice Englert), the new girl in town who is awkward and different and who has come to stay with her uncle Macon Ravenwood (Jeremy Irons).

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She comes from a mysterious family, the Ravenwood’s, people say that they have not even seen her uncle come out in years and this religious town thinks that they believe in the Devil.

The movie centers on her and Ethan Wate (Alden Ehrenreich), a young guy who loves reading and getting lost in his books. He hopes to one day escape from his dreary little town and set off on glorious adventures. He also just broke up with the popular girl and now has a little romance with her.

What sets this movie apart from other witch stories and movies is that for all young witches at the age of 16, they reveal their true nature, they are either taken to the dark side or reside in the light. Lena will soon find out and has been counting down by putting the days left on her hand a la Taylor Swift.

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Now from here, the setup sounds fun, this could definitely work out, but it just got really confusing.

I honestly kept stopping the movie and asking my husband what just happened? I wasn’t sure if it was I was losing my mind or if I had just grown really dumb. The story uses a lot of mythical spiritual names and everyone is not who they appear to be. Also everyone in town is connected from way back when, like 100 years ago. UMMM yeah ok, so how are they still alive?

The backup characters are Ridley Duchannes (Emmy Rossum) her cousin, Amma the town librarian (Viola Davis) and Mrs. Lincoln (Emma Thompson), just to name a few. I enjoyed the character of Ridley, she helped to spice up the movie and Amma was so thoughtful and sweet, I couldn’t help, but like her.

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All I kept thinking throughout the film, was this is exactly like Twilight, she is the weirdo like Edward with powers and he is the awkward, dorky Bella who falls in love with the wrong person. Also the whole movie has a very Oregon, green, woodsy feel to it. I just kept thinking when is Jacob going to come out and take off his t-shirt? That sexy werewolf beast!

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I am still confused as to why Jeremy Irons and Emma Thompson, both distinguished reputable actors would star in such a corny witch movie. I guess they wanted to make something their 13-year-old grand kids could watch instead of their stuffy “adult” movies.

One thing I enjoyed was the literary references and the joy that Ethan had from reading his books. That is pretty much the only thing I could relate to on any level. Also, the actor who plays him I think did a really nice job with a crappy role. I look forward to seeing him in some meatier roles.

Overall, this movie is lacking in story and the writing just falls flat. I believe that since this was derived from a book, it probably had a really interesting story line that gave a lot of background information on the characters and in reading it, one could probably get much more connected to the characters. That factor was missing from this movie, as I am sure they tried to cram in every idea into a short timeframe.

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The fancy graphics, the cool witch makeup, really nothing can save this movie from going down the drain. I wasted an hour and a half of my life and I cannot get it back…ever.

Remember that scene from Inglorious Bastards, when the movie screen goes up in flames, I wish that would have happened with this movie.

}}Melissa

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Movie Review: About Time (2013)

About Time (2013)
Directed by Richard Curtis
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Who doesn’t love a romance movie with Rachel McAdams? She is basically our generations Meg Ryan. Fortunately she doesn’t lose her memory in this film, nor does she get swept off her feet by Ryan Gosling (sigh). Overall, I would say that it is a pretty okay movie.

You are probably wondering why I say an “okay” movie. I think the movie was too long and throughout the movie you start to lose interest. I was sitting in my seat debating to go get popcorn or stay? In my opinion, once you start worrying about popcorn, then the movie just isn’t holding your attention.

The movie was also predictable and I felt I knew what was going to happen next. I knew that if I went to get popcorn, I wouldn’t have missed anything important.

About Time is a love story about a man named Tim, played the handsome Irish actor Domhnall Gleeson, who at the age of 21 is finally told about his family’s legacy or power which is he can travel in time.

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He just has to find a dark closed spot, close his eyes and clench his fists and BAM, he can travel in time. I just kept thinking “Damn I want that power” or “Wow I could do so many things or redo so many things different in my life.” But for Tim he just wants to find a girlfriend which is something he has wanted his whole life.

With this power he realizes that this can become a possibility, it should be easy to impress a girl right? With his time traveling ability he can redo first impressions, dates or kisses etc. He ends up meeting Mary, played by the lovable, Rachel McAddams, and realizes this is the girl of his dreams.

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The fact that this movie had Domhnall Gleeson made me want to stick through the movie. He does an awesome job in capturing a dorky 21 year old looking for love, who despite being able to travel through time doesn’t make him any less dorkier.

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I also love that this movie was set in the UK, just like Notting Hill and Love Actually, makes sense because they all have the same director. When it comes down to paying money to see this movie in a theater, I honestly wouldn’t recommend anyone paying $12 dollars and should just wait till it comes out on DVD.

Overall it was an “okay” movie, it left some questions to be answered and I believe many people like me had high expectations for this flick and it did not live up to them.

}}Bella

Merry Christmas and my love for Lifetime Xmas movies

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Merry Christmas eve everyone out there in cyber world. I was extremely busy with work last week and this week with Xmas I have been all over the place. But the reason I am writing this post is to comment on the fact that with the holidays, all my wonderful shows I normally watch have been on hiatus for the season.

This has me returning to my DVR and I have been catching up on my Real Housewives ladies and the Millionaire Matchmaker. All shows my husband despises watching and sends me to the room to watch alone. LOL.

I just want to say how much I love Brandi from RHOBH. Seriously, I love her  honesty and when she was calling Joyce, “Jacqueline” over and over again, that was just too funny. I feel like this season is much more boring and I really wish Kim would just start drinking again.

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I think Brandi is just misjudged and she doesn’t have a stick up her butt and people hate on her for that reason. I would def be her friend in real life.

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On top of my ridiculous girl shows, I have been watching a ton of Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movies. Ok, I confess I am obsessed. I have a serious problem.

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These movies are so corny, yet they make me feel better about life. Plus they always feature old movie and TV stars who were really famous in the 80’s and 90’s like Danica McKellar, Tatyana Ali, Norm from Cheers, and pretty much anyone you can think of who was really, and I mean really famous back in the day. Also, you get to see actors before they were famous, when they could only get cheesy roles on these channels.

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When in doubt Lifetime/Hallmark will give anyone a role. But that is why I love my channel.

Does anyone else have an obsession with some random channel?

Happy Holidays! Hope everyone is having a good one out there.

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}}Melissa

Movie Review: We’re the Millers (2013)

We are the Millers (2013)
Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber
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I recently just rented We are the Millers, after hearing so much about it; I had to check it out for myself. The movie stars Jason Sudeikis as David Clark, a man who has a debt to pay and must pretend he has a fake family in order to get across the Mexican border. He believes that if he has a family when he crosses the border, then the cops won’t think he has any drugs.

UMMMM, someone should remind that the cops at international borders have dogs who can sniff out weed and cocaine.

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Jennifer Aniston plays Rose O’Reilly, his fake wife who is really a stripper. Despite her slutty, sexy exterior she has a good heart. The type of movie that just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Yeah that plot sounds ridiculous, but what else can you expect from Aniston movies these days.

I feel like all the movies that she makes now a days, Just go with it, Wanderlust, Horrible Bosses, et, all revolve around her having a scene where she gets to strip down to her undies and the audience gets to see her gorgeous body.

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I am so not being a hater, but really is that all she has to give and is that the only way she can get a movie role. I mean I know she did Leprechaun back in the day, pre-nose job era, but she is Rachel from Friends, she dated Brad Pitt, Hollywood can definitely give her better roles.

Angelina Jolie doesn’t do these types of movies, is this why Pitt totally dumped her? LOL.

At the least, she should give herself more credit and go for meatier roles.

The rest of the border-crossing crew includes Casey Mathis an angry, runway teenager played by Emma Roberts and Kenny Rossmore played by newbie, Will Poulter. I have never seen this actor in any movies before this, but he definitely stood out. He was literally the funniest person in the entire film.

His naiveté and dorkiness totally shine through and make for a funny flick. Watch out for the threesome scene to laugh out loud.

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If you rented this movie with high expectations of Oscar-worthy moments, then this is the wrong movie for you, but if you want a good laugh that requires no brain work, then this is the perfect movie.

I liked this movie and seriously had myself some good laughs, yes it is stupid, but that is what this movie is all about. It doesn’t pretend to be serious, so if you are bored, grab a beer and put this flick on.

 

}}Melissa

AHS BUZZFEED – Check it out

Check out this BuzzFeed of AHS. So funny ! Here are the ones I thought were the best. Yeah I picked mostly all the funny, sexually charged ones. LOL.

1. Because Fiona Goode is a badass and puts other witches to shame.

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2. And voodoo witch Queenie says whatever the hell is on her mind because she DGAF.

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5. Madison Montgomery is a total bitch, but her unfiltered one-liners are a national treasure.

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10. This girl Zoe can literally kill men with her vagina.

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19. Madison is concerned with the important things in life.

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American Horror Story Coven Recap: Season 3, Episode 9: Head, Shoulders, Knees and Eyes….

American Horror Story Coven
Episode 9
** Spoiler Alert
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Last night’s episode, “Head,” was awesomely gruesome in every single way. We are getting closer than ever to the show’s finale and the coven is really starting to heat up even more.

I have to say one of the things that impresses me the most about this show are the camera angles. Distorted, slanted and viewed almost through a fish eye lens at some points, gives us the feel of a campy, B horror movie. I love it, to say the least!

This episode really brought everything to fruition and to light with Hank.

We now know that just as the coven has a long lineage of witches, the opposing witch hunters have been killing for centuries as well. Hank is part of that secret group and has been groomed by his father to be a destructive killer, who as he tells him should have “no mercy” for the withces.

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Despite the fact that he was embedded with the coven for so long, being married to Cordelia, he never had the guts to kill her because he really did love her. It appears that Hank also made a deal with the voodoo witch to kill the coven and Marie Laveau sends him a message through a horrifying voodoo doll scene.

Legs bent, twisted and contorted she plays Hank like a rag doll and tells him he must kill the coven or else he is next.

Although Cordelia and Fiona have had issues, she still respects her mother and knows that the coven needs the help of a Supreme in this dire time of hell with witch hunters out there ready to pounce.

Myrtle Snow is back for good now from the dead and out of the ashes like a phoenix has arisen stronger than ever. In an awesome, gruesome twist, she slips the counsel Pembroke and Quentin some paralyzing potion that makes them stiff as statues. She grabs a melon baller and scoops one of Pembroke’s eyes out and slips it in Cordelia.

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Later we see her cutting up the counsels’ bodies and dismembering them. Ewww gross!

Now Cordelia has some eyesight back, but has lost her power to see through people.

For a moment, I thought Cordelia could be the Supreme with that type of power, but we know that it can’t be her, it has to be one of the young girls. I don’t think it is Misty either, she does have the power of resurrection and Stevie Nicks behind her, but I don’t think she has that forceful, powerful energy that is needed and within a Supreme.

In a horrific turn, Hank decides to screw it all and goes after the Voodoo tribe of witches doing hair on the other side of town. Queenie was managing the phones, and was just coming off a high of showing Madame LaLaureie’s head about the ills of what occurred to African-American people since she was buried.

She shows her Roots and the violent riots of the 60’s, which only serves to juxtapose what is happening downstairs in the salon.

Hank comes in a blaze of glory and starts shooting everyone down. He manages to shoot Laveau, but of course she doesn’t die. Queenie in a final act of glory shoots herself in the head, which goes straight through Hank in a mirror fashion. Again, ewwwwwwww!

Laveau comes knocking on Fiona’s doorstep. The fact that she finally needs the Supreme’s help shows how catastrophic the Delphi Trust of witch killers is to the coven and the voodoo priestess.

Also, forgot to mention Fiona found Kyle and used her powers on him and brought him back to life, new and improved and better, plus its always nice to have a guy around a bunch of witch bitches, as Fiona puts it.

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Will all the ladies finally be under one roof? A nation of witches against the world, now that sounds satisfying to me.

We have to wait until January 8th to find out what will happen next. The next episode is titled “The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks,” is this going to be the episode where we finally see the rumored appearance of none other than Stevie Nicks herself? The Delphi Trust now knows that Hank is dead, what will they do next to our beloved girls? GASP! Let’s hope Fiona regains her strength and unleashes her powers or the new Supreme shows them how it is done.

}}Melissa

Sons of Anarchy Recap: Season 6, Episode 13: Charming Is Not For Lovers

Sons of Anarchy
Season Finale
Season 6, Episode 13
**SPOILER ALERT

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Seriously, are all us Sons of Anarchy fans just dying and reeling over last night’s episode. Another show, that has managed to upset and disgust me with the world out there. That’s how deeply I get involved watching shows. All my friends have been texting and emailing over what happened. We are all pretty much in shock still.

The season finale, “A Mother’s Work”, started off with finishing the story arc of Tara and her issue of whether or not to give up information to the DA in return for immunity her and the boys. Jax learned of what was going down and had her followed.

The boys played on the playground, while Jax came out of nowhere and sat on the park bench with her. What ensued was dramatic and heartfelt.

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We see that regardless of all the bull crap that has happened in their lives, they both love each other and I think he knew she was doing this all not to be against him, but to save their boys. She tells him to just let her say goodbye to the kids and not to hurt her in front of them, tears rolling down her face.

The shocker here is that Jax tells her he’s not going to hurt her, but instead he is going to give himself up to save Tara and the boys. Just like Tara said, Jax agrees, that the boys do not deserve this life and he does not want them to end up down the road he has gone, one filled with violence and despair.

In a shocking turn the DA agrees, he tells the clubhouse and passes the torch to good ol’ Lord of the Rings, Gimli, look-alike, Bobby. Everyone hugs and says goodbye while the boys play with their favorite motorcycle club babysitters.

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Last week, Juice confessed to killing the drug addict girlfriend of Nero’s cousin to none other than Nero. This tells him that Jax lied to his face and now he is beginning to question his loyalty to the Sons.

Juice gives Jax a goodbye hug, to which Jax says, “You betrayed me.” Juicy is no fool and he knows this spells out his death, a betrayal against the club doesn’t keep anyone alive for long.

Nero disappointed and plotting his next move, dumps Gemma. She says to him, “You’re dumping me,” in total disbelief. She consoles herself with weed and booze and she finds out that Jax is going to jail.

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She believes that Tara has sold him out and pretty much that’s it, there is no turning back she is pissed off. She threatens to take Unser’s car and he tries to stop her, but she takes off anyways.

What ensued next was mind blowing. Earlier in the show, we saw Gemma washing dishes; one side filled with dish water the other with dirty dishes. A significant scene, which foreshadowed what was to come later on.

Tara arrives home, FINALLY, with Eli as her escort. She sees Unser’s truck parked outside and assumed he was inside helping with something.

She had a look of happiness for a moment. A sense of relief that she was finally done running from the life she chose and that she could live in peace for once with her kids.

Eli walks outside and all hell breaks loose.

Gemma in a drugged out stupor, starts to bash Tara with an iron, then puts her head into the sink to suffocate her, all while grabbing a turkey fork and jabbing it into her skull and back. At this point, I think I almost threw up on myself, it was graphic and violent.

An out of control gesture that was not surprising coming from someone like Gemma. She is impulsive and self-destructive, yet the ultimate protector of her roost who is willing to do anything and I mean anything, for the sake of her family.

Juice and the cop go back inside after they hear screams. Gemma just keeps on saying, “It had to be done, it had to be done.”

Eli tell hers that she never ratted out Jax and that Jax gave himself up to save Tara. Gemma knows at this point she’s pretty screwed. He tries to call in the mess, when all of a sudden Juice shoots him in the back. Man down.

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Juice helps by offering Gemma his hand and throws out the murder weapons. Oy vey!

Now the kitchen looks like a bloody mess. WTF, just happened. That’s all I kept saying as I jumped around my house.

Jax comes home to find the mess and sobs over her body and kisses her. Tears strolled down my face while my husband looked at me like I was crazy. I just kept thinking, Jax is literally the hottest widower ever. I know I am sick and twisted right?

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What will happen next year? How will Jax reconcile and revenge the death of his beloved Tara? How will Gemma live with the fact that she killed her? Is Nero plotting something bigger than the club is ready to handle?

I can’t wait to find out!

}}Melissa